If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize