the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize