you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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