If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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