Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
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