i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
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Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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