He is such a slut. More and more my type.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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