She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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