Texts From Last Night

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  (517): View more from Michigan

  I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up

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  (517): I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up http://tfl.nu/4pw3
  Replies (7) Good night (555) Bad night (1238) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less

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  (215): Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less http://tfl.nu/o2ix
  Replies (25) Good night (451) Bad night (876)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.

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  (828): just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot. http://tfl.nu/vfy9
  Replies (26) Good night (11998) Bad night (610) Order T-Shirt
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'

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  (778): Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world' http://tfl.nu/vm9t
  Replies (8) Good night (7021) Bad night (685) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.

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  (630): He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house. http://tfl.nu/pura
  Replies (50) Good night (3172) Bad night (5460) Order T-Shirt
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.

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  (910): she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar. http://tfl.nu/ez5w
  Replies (26) Good night (3644) Bad night (853) Order T-Shirt
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?

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  (678): There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut? http://tfl.nu/jwsc
  Replies (3) Good night (1382) Bad night (619) Order T-Shirt
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?

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  (502): I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that? http://tfl.nu/7r6j
  Replies (14) Good night (1151) Bad night (1569)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?

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  (317): do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards? http://tfl.nu/y683
  Replies (16) Good night (2036) Bad night (862) Order T-Shirt
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  (850): View more from Florida

  My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco

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  (850): My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco http://tfl.nu/szsc
  Replies (5) Good night (1320) Bad night (343) Order T-Shirt
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.

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  (678): It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls. http://tfl.nu/0s5d
  Replies (6) Good night (1032) Bad night (447) Order T-Shirt
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.

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  (912): Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well. http://tfl.nu/02op
  Replies (4) Good night (1237) Bad night (375)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?

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  (585): Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable? http://tfl.nu/iygw
  Replies (3) Good night (681) Bad night (370) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out

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  (732): Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out http://tfl.nu/mgiw
  Replies (9) Good night (1266) Bad night (370) Order T-Shirt
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent

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  (907): Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent http://tfl.nu/4dji
  Replies (8) Good night (1082) Bad night (405) Order T-Shirt

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