Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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