this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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