Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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