At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize