i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
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I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
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Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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