the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize