totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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