Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize