Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
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It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
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Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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