oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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