Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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