New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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