wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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