I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize