I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
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The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
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YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
the raccoons are back...
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