dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize