so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
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