Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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