I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I wish there were birth control emojis
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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