she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize