Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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