Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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