She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize