Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I love you.
Bad choice
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