Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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