Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize