know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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