you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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