Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina just recognized that song.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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