My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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