I need help removing her.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
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