evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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