I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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