i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize