woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize