Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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