we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Randomize