There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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