Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
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