no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize