so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
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That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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